Following hear-hears to several ornery tweets about inadequate intermissions, I hereby submit this list of demands, er, ideas to opera companies everywhere regarding fair treatment of operagoers. I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, though an inquiring eye can tell where I've been lately.
1. A civilized show requires two intermissions. Opera should not have halftime.
2. Long shows need longer intermissions, not shorter ones.
3. No intermission should last less than one gin-and-tonic, procured and sipped at moderate speed.
4. Escape quotient: Take the number of aisles dividing your main house, subtract from 3, and multiply any positive result by 2 minutes. Add that to what you think you need.
5. Ringing chimes and flashing lights are preferable to militaristic loudspeaker threats.
6. Post timings for acts and intermissions at the coat checks and list them in the program.
7. If the night gets too long, cut the opera. Nearly every show in the repertoire has flab.
8. Relaxation is remembered after haste is forgotten.
In regards to point #3, is that more or less time than a enthusiastically sipped gimlet?
Posted by: MMerline | 03/23/2010 at 02:40 PM
Words to the wise.
I would add:
Divide size of house (by #of seats) by # of ladies' rooms. Divide result by number of minutes in each act, and multiply by # of stalls per ladies room.
Result=minimum intermission time.
Posted by: Squillo | 03/29/2010 at 02:30 PM
HAHAH!!!!!!!!
Posted by: LaToya Lewis | 03/29/2010 at 05:16 PM